


Thank God It's Christmas

by BambiRex



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, F/F, Face-Sitting, Fivesome - F/F/F/F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, OT5, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Vaginal Fingering, fem!queen, i had so much fun writing this, king!au, marking explicit because it starts as sweet fluff then spirals into heavy smut lmao, poly!Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BambiRex/pseuds/BambiRex
Summary: Freddie, Jane, Regina, Brianna and Joan celebrate Christmas together, and they definitely have a lot of fun, in more than one ways.
Relationships: John Deacon/Jim Hutton/Brian May/Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Thank God It's Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Some self-indulgent fluffy/smutty Christmas stuff, because I was in the mood. Happy Holidays to everyone! :))
> 
> Please make my Christmas merry with some comments :3

A string of wolf-whistles and catcalls welcomed Jane and Joan as they carried the tree in through the balcony door on their shoulders, not surpisingly coming from Freddie and Regina who were cuddled up to each other on the couch, watching their girlfriends struggle with the large pine.

"Thanks for the fanfare, ladies. How about one of you help our poor asses and get us a tree stand?” Jane huffed, and Joan made a noise in agreement behind her, clearly getting tired of balancing the trunk on her shoulders.

"I’ll get it!” Regina offered cheerfully, shooting off the couch to retrieve it from its container, putting it down onto the floor with a grand gesture.

"There you go.”

"Thanks.” Joan groaned. They lowered the tree, placing the very end into the stand; thank god it fit perfectly. None of them would have appreciated it if they had to get out the saw to cut it into form. Carrying the large pine through their huge garden was enough struggle already.

"You guys are so strong.” Freddie purred, fanning herself over-dramatically. "I might just get dirty thoughts on this holy day.”

"Save that for the night.” Jane winked, causing both Regina and Freddie to giggle. A whiff of something absolutely delicious coming from the direction of the kitchen got their attention suddenly, causing all of them to sniff the air with a contented sigh.

"Are we smelling gingerbread cookies?” Joan called out with a grin. Brianna emerged from the kitchen, wiping her floury hands on her apron with a nod.

"You sure are. Oh, the tree looks nice!” She stepped closer to investigate it. Brianna would have been okay with a smaller tree too, just like Joan and Jane, but of course, Regina and Freddie kept whining about "Christmas not being real Christmas if the tree doesn’t take up half of the living room”, so they had to get the biggest one at the market. It looked really nice though, spreading its lush branches around gracefully. It’s going to be a real joy decorating it.

"Yeah, and it was heavy as hell.” Jane chuckled, brushing a few pine needles off her arms. "Those two enjoyed watching our struggle a little too much.”

She nodded towards Freddie and Regina who held their hands up innocently, and Brianna laughed.

"Don’t be too hard on them. It is Christmas day after all!”

She sounded so eager, almost child-like, and Jane couldn’t resist kissing her, humming at the taste of sugar on her lips.

"Taste-testing, are we?” Joan grinned, pecking Brianna’s lips too, making her blush slightly from the sudden surge of attention she was getting.

"You could try some actual taste-testing, too. And I need someone who takes on the duty of preparing the meat, I’d rather not do it.”

Joan nodded, already strodding out into the kitchen, getting her own apron. Jane looked over Freddie and Regina, chuckling.

"Can we leave you two alone? You’re not going to break anything, are you?”

Regina stuck her tongue out at her, and Freddie pouted.

"Of course you can, darling! Come on, we’re not five years olds!”

"Well, not physically.” Brianna laughed, and Jane gave her a high-five before they followed Joan into the kitchen to help her with the rest of the food.

"So mean.” Regina murmured, but she couldn’t help it when her lips curled into a smile. She could never truly be angry at anyone on Christmas Day. You could call her childish all you want, but she had always found this day magical. Even more so now that she got to celebrate it with her four, perfect girlfriends.

"Come on, let’s show them what a gorgeous tree we’ll be having.” Freddie perked up, already reaching for the first box, fishing around for the ornaments.

"What’s our theme?” She asked, still elbow-deep into the large box. Regina raised an eyebrow in question.

"Huh?”

"For the tree, darling.” Freddie explained, as if it was totally obvious. "Decked out in every single color of the rainbow? Red and gold? Blue and silver? Pink and white?”

"The other three is going to kill us if you try to put those ugly pink stuff up.” Regina laughed, remembering when Freddie first walked through the door with a neon pink tinsel, much to everyone’s horror.

"They are not ugly, they are modern and fashionable!” Freddie argued, and Regina couldn’t resist snaking her arms around her waist, pressing a comforting kiss onto her cheeks.

"If you say so, Munchkin.”

Freddie’s eyes seemed to light up now that Regina didn’t keep insulting her ornaments of choice. She grabbed the first bauble from the box, holding it up for Regina to see.

"I picked a gold one, so I guess we’re going with the matching red.”

Regina hummed and nodded, letting go of Freddie a little reluctantly to allow her to keep picking up various decorations.

"You can have the honor of putting up the first one!” Freddie announced giddily, pushing a snowflake-shaped ornament into Regina’s hands. The blonde hung it up with a smile, finding Freddie’s excitement truly adorable. They all loved Christmas a lot, but Freddie was really something else. For her, Christmas preparations were ought to start around the middle of November, and the festive spirit didn’t leave her until the very end of December.

She grabbed a tinsel (a golden one, not the neon pink, thank god) wrapping it around the tree while humming under her breath. Regina kept up her duty of hanging up the baubles, one golden and then one red at a time, making sure everything was perfectly symmetrical. This gorgeous tree deserved the best decoration.

And so did they.

The gingerbread cookies were already cooling on the counter, and Brianna had to playfully swat at either Joan or Jane’s hands when they sneakily tried to steal one.

"They are still hot! And I can’t have you polish them off before the actual dinner!”

Joan rolled her eyes, but she chuckled anyways, putting back the little gingerbread man that she was about to stuff into her mouth.

"Alright, alright. I won’t be messing up your work, Chef. Studmuffin, how’s the turkey going?”

"She’s misbehaving, big time.” Jane replied, frowning as she peeked into the oven. The stupid bird didn’t seem to want to bake, sitting in there looking still quite raw.

"It’s gonna be alright. We just need to leave it in for longer than usual.” Joan advised, pressing a chaste kiss onto Jane’s lips. "You’re doing a great job.”

"So are you. Your soup smells amazing.” Jane mused, patting Joan’s butt proudly, making her laugh.

Though she really was proud of her soup. No one cooked broccoli cheddar soup quite like Joan. Even Regina, who firmly insisted that broccolis came from Hell, seemed to take a great liking to that particular veggy meal. Not to mention, she managed to sweep Brianna off her feet too, and she was really critical about vegetarian meals that weren’t made by her.

Speaking of which, her mushroom risotto also released quite the pleasant scent-cloud, making Joan’s stomach rumble loudly.

"God…can I have just one cookie? I’m starving, Brianna, don’t be cruel.”

Brianna scoffed, but it turned into a fond little smile. "Alright, but only one. If I see you take more, I’ll be very pissed.”

"Oh yeah, because you’re so scary when you’re pissed.” Joan teased her, to which Brianna snickered in response. Joan grabbed the previously craved gingerbread man, biting into it greedily, letting out a positively happy sigh.

"God, this is so good.”

Brianna already knew what was about to happen when she felt Jane prop her chin up on her shoulder, nuzzling her neck sweetly.

"Can I have one too?” She murmured, pressing a kiss onto her cheek for good measure. Brianna gave an exasperated sigh.

"You guys are going to be the death of me. Same rule applies to you too, only one.”

Jane saluted playfully before grabbing a cookie herself, praises falling from her lips at the taste, and Brianna laughed.

"Don’t cream your pants you two, these are just cookies. I’m gonna go check up on the chaos duo, and I better not come back to an empty tray.”

With that, she padded out to the living room to see if anything was on fire. Surprisingly (and thankfully) everything seemed intact; the tree was about halfway done, decorated prettily with red and golden baubles, tinsels and various other ornaments.

"Looks nice.” She said, causing Freddie and Regina to look up. Of course, they were clearly playing around a little bit (they were Regina Taylor and Freddie Mercury, after all), if the neon pink tinsel from Hell wrapped around Freddie like a diva’s fur cape, and a Santa hat that Brianna didn’t even realize they had sitting neatly on the top of Regina’s head was any indication.

"Of course it does, we made it, darling.” Freddie said with a posh tone, playing with the tinsel around her neck and swaying her hips playfully as she danced over to Brianna, and it didn’t fail to make Brianna grin a little hungrily at her.

"You three don’t have any taste.” Freddie added, bopping Brianna’s nose playfully, who snorted, looking down at the tinsel around Freddie’s neck.

"I wouldn’t insult our taste with that neon nightmare hanging off you.”

Freddie snickered, but it quickly turned into a smile.

"What should we put on the top?”

"We can’t choose between the angel and the star. Which one should it be?” Regina perked up, holding both of the decorations up for Brianna to see. The curly-haired woman rubbed her chin thoughtfully, inspecting them both.

"I think the star looks better.” She decided eventually, and the other two nodded furiously.

"You should put it up, you’re tall.” Regina offered, raising her eyebrows in surprise when Brianna shook her head.

"I have a better idea.”

With that, she grabbed Regina and lifted her, causing the blonde to shriek and Freddie laugh at her flailing.

"If you drop me, or make a comment about me being heavy, I’ll stab you with the star.” Regina threatened her, and Brianna shook her head quickly, trying not to struggle too obviously under Regina’s weight.

Regina placed the star on the top, and then Brianna let her down softly, now all three of them looking at the tree in awe. Their blessed little moment was interrupted soon, when a very obviously burnt smell snaked its way out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Something’s burning.” Freddie stated the obvious, scrunching up her nose in disgust. Brianna groaned, rushing back into the kitchen to see about it.

She didn’t find the cookie tray empty as she suspected, but she did find Jane and Joan making out lazily against the counter, totally oblivious to the disaster happening behind them.

"The turkey!” Brianna yelled, running to the oven, hoping to save it, but clearly, there was nothing to be done, as it burned into a black crisp. So much for not getting baked.

At least Joan and Jane looked kind of guilty as they stood behind Brianna, looking down at the blackened meat with sad eyes.

"And here I thought we should look out for what Freddie and Regina were doing, and here you are, making a total catastrophe.” Brianna tried to sound stern, but she burst into laughter. It was just too ridiculous, those two thinking they were the "cool-headed” ones, and yet.

"Sorry.” Jane mumbled, scratching at the back of her neck awkwardly. Freddie and Regina also pranced out to see what happened, both of them letting out a simultaneous gasp when their eyes fell on the turkey, or more like, what was left of it.

"That damn turkey is the biggest star of the meal!” Regina whined, already mourning her favorite Christmas dish. "This is a real tragedy.”

Freddie patted her back comfortingly, looking over the rest of them, taking in Brianna’s shit-eating grin and Joan and Jane’s guilty expressions.

"What the hell happened? Didn’t you all claim yourselves to be master chefs or something?”

"Very funny.” Joan snickered, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment. "I guess we got a little distracted…”

"By each other.” Brianna added with a chuckle, and Freddie’s eyes lit up in recognation before she started grinning too.

"Ooooh, I see! Guess you shouldn’t have had to worry about Reg and me, huh?”

"Oh, hush.” Jane snickered, but she also laughed at the end. It was kind of funny, actually, in a way.

"I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles around here…or the turkey.” Regina snorted, seemingly getting over the feeling of tremendous loss over the main dish. Though what they were supposed to do now, having only some mushroom risotto, soup and cookies to put onto the table was beyond her.

"I can fix some basic stew, I think we still have some ingredients left for that. Maybe not very ideal, but at least it’s something.” Joan offered, not wanting to leave her girlfriends hanging after she destroyed that stupid turkey. Jane nodded furiously next to her.

"Better hurry, it’s almost dinner time!” Freddie warned them, laughing when the guilty duo immediately got to retrieving the needed ingredients, clearly trying to make up for the kitchen disaster as quickly as possible.

Freddie and Regina finished decorating the tree, putting up some more ornaments on branches that seemed a little bare in comparison to the others, inspecting their work with a satisfied grin. It truly looked glorious; exactly the kind of Christmas tree you’d expect to see in the living room of Britain’s top band and their precious fifth girlfriend.

The stew was also cooking nicely, Jane and Joan working their asses off to make sure every dish will be ready in time. Of course, it was just the five of them, they weren’t expecting any guests, but still. Christmas was about pigging out too, there’s no need for fake modesty about that.

Brianna quickly put together a simpler version of a Christmas cake to sweep her most sweet-toothed girlfriends off their feet; soon everything was done and ready, smelling and looking delicious, just waiting to be served.

Regina and Freddie helped setting the table, allowing the "chefs” to get out of their flour and sauce-covered aprons and change into something more fitting for a Christmas dinner. They always made a big deal out of that one, dressing up as elegantly as if they were going out. Well, it was mostly Regina and Freddie, who were already decked it in their gorgeous dresses, Freddie in a beautiful red, and Regina in a baby blue one.

Joan went with her typical Christmas sweater, Jane put on a flannel, and Brianna dished out her favorite white silk blouse for the occasion. Everyone was nice and ready in a breath, taking their seats around the beautifully set table.

"I would like to say a toast.” Freddie announced, raising her glass. The rest looked up at her curiously, and she couldn’t help but blush a little under the watchful eyes.

"To us. You make me so happy, darlings. I cannot believe I got so lucky to bag four girlfriends, and all of them happen to be my best friends as well!”

The other four chuckled, and Freddie felt her heart grow at least three sizes.

"I really am the luckiest woman in the entire world. I feel like I have everything that I have ever needed. Here I am, celebrating Christmas with the most wonderful people in my life-what else would I need?”

She swallowed back the tears that gathered in her eyes quickly. Shit, she hasn’t even drunk anything and she was already getting emotional. Guess that’s what real love does to someone.

"We feel the same way, you know.” Regina said with a positively lovesick smile, raising her own glass while looking all of her lovers over giddily.

"Damn right we do.” Jane grinned, and Joan followed suit, both of them holding their glasses up.

"Merry Christmas!” Brianna laughed a little wetly, and they all clunked their glasses together cheerfully.

The dinner was truly amazing: Joan’s soup stole the show like always, and she was grinning proudly as her girlfriends kept praising her to the high Heavens.  
The stew also turned out to be quite good, though no one could get through it without teasing Jane and Joan. Regina even earned a napkin thrown into her face at a particularly raunchy comment. By the time they got to the risotto, everyone was completely stuffed, leaning back in their chairs with contented sighs.

"This is probably the best Christmas dinner I ever had.” Regina announced, patting her belly with a satisfied grin.

"Even without the turkey…”

"Come on, let us live.” Joan growled, rolling her eyes, but her own lips curled into a smile too. They were all so tipsy already, giddy and warm and happy.

Freddie especially went hard with the eggnog, her cheeks delightfully pink, her eyes shining with awe as she was half-draped across Jane’s lap, burrowing into the crook of her neck with a happy little purr while Jane absentmindedly played with her silky black tresses.

"I’m so full, I can’t take another bite.” Freddie giggled. "Don’t you guys want to cuddle a bit?”

"Someone’s drunk.” Brianna laughed, patting Freddie’s flushed cheeks gently, causing her to pout softly.

"I’m not drunk!”

"Yes, you are. You’re always this sappy when you’re drunk.” Joan cooed, squeezing her thigh playfully. "Though a cuddle definitely sounds nice.”

Everyone seemed to be agreeing with that, so they heaved themselves up with some difficulty, padding out into the bedroom to have a nice cuddle on their large bed.

"This is so nice.” Regina purred, curling up on Joan’s lap contentedly. Jane still had her lap full with Freddie, while Brianna cuddled up to her on the other side, nuzzling her cheeks gently.

They spent long minutes just pressed up against each other’s bodies, basking in the warmth that radiated off them. It was so peaceful and soft, most of them were on the brink of falling asleep due to the food coma and the comfortable embrace they were wrapped up in, when a soft gasp made everyone snap back into reality from their haze.

Joan had a cheeky hand slipped under Regina’s dress, causing the blonde to bite back a soft moan. Brianna perked up with a chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I thought we were supposed to cuddle.”

"Change of plans.” Joan said innocently with a shrug, and then she did something with her hand that made Regina buck her hips and whimper softly.

"I don’t think any of us is very opposed to that idea.” Jane murmured, her own hand snaking under Freddie’s dress, causing her to purr and roll her hips against her hand when she started palming her through her panties.

"The Christmas spirit is one horny bitch.” Regina laughed, but it was quickly turned into a moan as Joan slipped her hand inside her underwear, a clever finger brushing across her clit teasingly. The rest of her moans were swallowed by Brianna who captured her lips in a deep kiss, tugging on her bottom lip slightly with her teeth, making her gasp.

Next to them, Freddie quickly shimmied out of her dress and underwear, now grinding down on Jane’s lap completely naked, fumbling with the buttons of Jane’s shirt impatiently. It wasn’t an easy task, getting her out of that flannel while Jane’s hand was still between her legs, teasing caresses driving her insane.

Joan soon had mercy on the squirming and whimpering Regina, pushing a finger inside, grinning when the blonde squeezed around the single digit hungrily. Brianna felt herself gushing as she watched the scene from up close, licking her lips hungrily. She blushed when Joan winked at her over Regina’s shoulder.

"Bri…”

The curly-haired woman tore her eyes off the scene a little reluctantly at the needy whimper. Her eyes met Freddie’s lustful ones as the darker-haired woman kept squirming on Jane’s lap, whose fingers were pumping in and out of her steadily.

"I want to eat you out.”

Well, Brianna definitely wasn’t one to say no to that. She slid closer, grabbing the back of Freddie’s neck and pulling her into an almost agressive kiss, making the singer pant into her mouth.

Jane reached up with her free hand to undo the buttons on Brianna’s blouse, freeing her out of the silky material quickly, then getting rid of her bra as well with one swift move.

Brianna moaned into Freddie’s mouth when she felt Jane brush her thumb across her nipple teasingly before she licked it, tongue swirling around the sensitive nub playfully.

She turned from Freddie to Jane, kissing her just as hungrily, making Jane groan against her lips. They had to break the kiss when Freddie let out an impatient whine, rolling her hips needily against Jane’s fingers that were staying still inside her.

"I’ve got you.” Jane cooed, pecking her lips gently. "But you promised Brianna something, didn’t you?”

Freddie nodded furiously, licking her lips and Brianna tried not to moan out loud at what that implied. Regina did it for her instead, her eyes dark and hungry as she watched her girlfriends, while Joan kept fucking her steadily, not rushing at all, taking her sweet time.

"You like to watch, hm?” Joan murmured into her ears, nipping at her earlobe playfully, and Regina shivered. The blonde nodded, feeling herself gush even more.

She never took her eyes off the scene as Freddie scrambled off Jane’s lap a little reluctantly, rolling onto her back. 

"Sit on my face, darling.” Freddie breathed. God, she was an image and a half with her flushed skin, lips kiss-swollen, her nipples rock hard and begging to be touched, her thighs spread apart, her pussy glistening with wetness invitingly.

Brianna didn’t hesitate before climbing up, hovering over her face. She looked down at Freddie for permission and she nodded, her eyes darkening even more. Brianna slowly lowered herself, letting out a loud moan when she felt the first lick of that amazing tongue against her wet folds.

Freddie moaned too, when Jane pushed her fingers back in, pumping in and out of her again.  
"So fucking gorgeous, all of you.” Joan growled, feeling herself become wetter and wetter at the sight. She gently pushed on Regina’s back until the blonde was on all fours, right in front of Brianna.

"There. Now you can keep watching from an even better position, Princess.”

Regina keened high in her throat, grabbing at Brianna’s curls and pulling her into a messy kiss, all teeth and tongue and desperation. They kept panting into each other’s mouths as Brianna grinded her hips down and against Freddie’s tongue, while Joan picked up her pace inside Regina, fucking into her hard and fast from behind.

Jane’s hand was also working more furiously between Freddie’s legs to bring her closer to the edge. Freddie was an absolute mess, hips rocking forward desperately as she fucked herself on Jane’s fingers, letting out moans and whimpers essentially into Brianna, her own fingers digging into Brianna’s thighs desperately.

Brianna reached behind herself to pinch Freddie’s nipples, and the effect was immediate: Freddie came, hips trashing, inner walls tightening around Jane’s fingers as she rode it out. The moan she let out into Brianna was enough to push the guitarist over the edge, rolling her hips against Freddie’s face to feel the amazing vibrations of her tongue against her.

She rolled off of Freddie’s face to let her breathe. She could see that Regina was nearing her completion too, panting like a dog in heat as she kept pushing her hips back against Joan’s fingers. Brianna helped her through it, reaching between her plush thighs and rubbing her clit until the blonde cried out, coming hard from the double pleasure she was receiving.

While Freddie, Brianna and Regina cuddled up to each other, sharing in the afterglow of their orgasms, Joan and Jane basically pounced on each other, moaning and panting into each other’s mouths as they both pushed a hand between the other’s legs, helping out each other.

"I’m glad they can finally quench the sexual tension that made them ruin the turkey.” Freddie joked, leaning her head against Brianna’s chest who chuckled, wrapping an arm around both her and Regina.

If they hadn’t come just mere seconds ago, they would have probably been able to go again at the insanely hot sight of Jane and Joan fingering the living soul out of each other, Jane’s lips attached to Joan’s neck as the bassist tugged at the Irish woman’s short hair, pulling her closer.

They came almost perfectly at the same time, falling back on the bed, utterly spent and panting. Their already recovered girlfriends pulled them close, and they all curled up around each other, legs tangled together in a heap.

"This holy night is not so holy anymore.” Regina chuckled, making all of them laugh.

No one really complained, though, obviously. Christmas was supposed to be fun too, wasn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on Tumblr at bambirex,
> 
> or
> 
> bambirexwrites, where I take requests about fem!queen, so feel free to drop by and send me something! :))
> 
> And Happy Holidays again! :DD


End file.
